my mouth tastes like poor choices
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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