My first STD was from a foam party
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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