ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
