Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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