apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
