Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
