I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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