Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
