If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
