bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
