I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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