Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
