im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
