She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
