so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
too bad you live with your parents still
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
