didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
