what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
