So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
