So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
