Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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