i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
