I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
