Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
