Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
