Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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