Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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