i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Randomize
