she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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