despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
