my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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