I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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