thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
