I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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