pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
