This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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