You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
