This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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