how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
