my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
