she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You made out with two different species that night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
