Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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