I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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