Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
