So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
