I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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