But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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