I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
how does that bad decision feel?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
