you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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