You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
