so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
