My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
