Dual....:-)
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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